In many legal and medical practices, online meetings and consultations have become the norm for many people now.

Over the last few years. online counselling has become a integral and growing area of professional practices. Lawyers, doctors, physiotherapists, dieticians, exercise physiologists, and psychologists have all found that for many consultations, online therapy has been just as effective as face-to-face counselling.

Today’s computer technology enables us to meet just as effectively as if we were in the practice room, without the time and cost of travelling, and the difficulties of finding a carpark.

Chapman Marques Psychology and Relationship Counselling offers online therapy using the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Online relationship counselling may be suitable for you if:

• You live in an area where there are no relationship therapists
• You want to avoid unnecessary driving or bus trips
• You want to save the total time spent in travelling to and from your sessions
• You want to work with a relationship therapist who doesn’t practice near where you live or work
• You don’t want the difficulty and extra cost of finding a babysitter for children when you attend your sessions.
• You want to keep your attendance completely priate.
• You want the privacy in the comfort of your own home while engaging in your therapy. (Teletherapy is like having a home visit by the therapist).

If you and your partner would like to undertake couples therapy online, contact Chapman Marques Psychology and Relationship Counselling to book.

Whether we refer to it as “online therapy”; “e-therapy”; “teletherapy”; or, “telehealth”, this mode of delivering therapy has surged recently due to the health restrictions imposed by the pandemic of 2019+.  I note that the terms “online therapy” and “e-therapy” don’t include telephone therapy that has been in use for decades. So, I prefer the term “teletherapy” because it includes both therapy via computer and via telephone. Further, it distinguishes the service from confusion with being solely therapy under the varying conditions of the Medicare term “telehealth”.

Whilst there is a minority who argue against it, the uptake of teletherapy by health professionals has been enormous. The use varies by the type of allied health service. For example, 75% of physiotherapists make use of it. For psychologists and mental health professionals, the uptake has been 95%.

Health professionals have stated their preference for teletherapy. They report enjoying working from home; not spending/wasting time travelling to work; saving on parking fees or public transport fees; and, being more focused and effective. Many also state that their clients actually prefer teletherapy sessions. Psychologists report that clients experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder say they feel safer undertaking teletherapy in their own homes.

A distinct advantage of teletherapy for psychologists is that it offers the ability to vastly extend the geographical reach of their practice. No longer are clients limited either to undertaking therapy in their local area or driving great distances to attend therapy. They may now contact any psychologist in the nation (allowing for time zone differences). Clients who re-locate considerable distance from the area in which they were consulting a therapist may now continue their therapy from their new location.

Teletherapy offers a flexibility for clients who find it difficult or impossible to access a clinic. One health professional commented that teletherapy “has proven to have the same positive impact and benefits as in-person therapy. It is more flexible around client schedules and commitments and clients are able to access their therapy from any location.” Research has backed this opinion.

Teletherapy is a very convenient way for clients to receive therapy, particularly in relation to no travel time for people who work; parents unable to find babysitters; more convenience and comfort for the disabled or chronically ill; couples being able to connect from different locations for couples therapy; and, generally speaking it is just far more convenient in the busy world we live in.

Telehealth is obviously very helpful. Whether it be for a client who doesn’t have a car and has to travel a long distance; a parent with a sick child who cannot leave the house; or, someone who uses their long lunch break to have an appointment in their private office.

A poem my father loved quoting. And, he lived it. Worth thinking on.

“It Couldn’t be Done”

by Edgar Albert Guest

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,
But he, with a chuckle, replied
That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried, he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done … and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it;”
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe.

They can involve:

• Feeling sad or being in a depressed mood
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Changes in appetite – weight loss or gain not from dieting
• Difficulty sleeping or over sleeping
• Low energy or being more fatigued than usual
• Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., unable to sit still; pacing up and down; wringing your hands
•  Slower movements or speech (severe enough to be noticed by others)
• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
• Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions
• Thinking about death or suicide

Symptoms must have lasted at least two weeks and must be a change in your previous level of functioning to qualify for a diagnosis of depression.

If you think you may be experiencing depression, ask your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan and contact Chapman Marques Psychology and Relationship Counselling – phone Reception or book online.

YOU MIGHT THINK RELATIONSHIP THERAPY   IS   A   COST.  BUT, ….. COMPARED TO MISERY, LONELINESS AND DIVORCE, …… IT’S A SOUND INVESTMENT – NOT   A   “COST”.

THE REAL COST IS IN NOT ENGAGING IN RELATIONSHIP THERAPY!

Whenever our partner is distressed, it is natural to tell them not to worry, things are, or will be, alright. Or, we solve their problem. However, if we do this, we send a message that we aren’t listening, aren’t understanding, and maybe that we’re dismissive. We may unintentionally send the message that we don’t think our partner is capable.

Problem-solving can come down the track a bit. First, we need to make sure your partner knows we understand them. Probably the easiest way to convey this is by reflecting to them what you hear they’re trying to say. Like this: “Sorry to hear you had such a hard day with that difficult team at work. I’d feel pretty exhausted dealing with them. How are you feeling? Talk to me about it. I’m listening”.

If your partner is angry with you, open your response by indicating you’re sorry and then ask them what they need from you. Like this: “I’m sorry for forget to put out the garbage. I guess you’d like me to be more responsible. Have I got that right?”

Remember, understanding must be expressed before we give advice. and, inviting your partner to tell you more about a situation will benefit. That’s a good “sliding door moment” to emotionally connect with them.

Drs John and Julie Gottman offer this terrific and simple enough suggestion to help enhance your relationship.

They suggest we make a list of three things you really admire about our partner.
The list could include things they do or something about the person you’ve known since you met them, (like their sense of humour or their always backing you); something like always buying nice birthday cards); or, something they did in the moment or recently (like making you a cuppa).

Write your list and give it to your partner.

You might, write up a new list as often as you like.  It could be daily, weekly, or randomly. Notice (noticing is always good!)  how it impacts your relationship.

If you think you might benefit from couples’ counselling, for an appointment with Chapman Marques Psychology & Relationship Counselling, phone Belconnen Specialist Centre on 6251 1880.

World leaders in relationship research, Drs John and Julie Gottman, following decades of studies, have discovered a little magic. They have uncovered quite a few facts about successful relationships.

However, they assert that one is paramount. And, this is the magic relationship ratio of 5:1.

According to this amazing finding, successful and long-lasting relationships must have a ratio of five positive interactions for every single negative interaction. The Gottmans discovered this is what makes the difference between what they term the “masters” and the “disasters” of relationships.

So, whilst “disasters” drop below 5:1, masters work at keeping their positive to negative ratio of interactions at 5:1 or above. Research found sometimes the “masters” achieved a ration as high as 20:1!

Most positive interactions in relationships are small, everyday gestures of kindness, affection, and appreciation. Dr John Gottman says successful relationships are built on “small things often”. If think (or know) you are falling short of the magic 5:1 ratio in your relationship, you might try creating a few positive, daily rituals of connection in your relationship.

Here’s Dr John Gottman explaining the magic 5:1 ratio click here .

If you think you might benefit from couples’ counselling, for an appointment with Chapman Marques Psychology & Relationship Counselling, phone Belconnen Specialist Centre on 6251 1880.

“Shoot … re-load … shoot” is an expression used to highlight an ineffective (and disrespectful) communication style wherein we have our say, then, when our partner is speaking, we are preparing (“re-load”) our response (“shoot”).

So often in introductory intake therapy sessions, I hear couples saying “the problem is communication”.  Invariably, on further investigation, one of the issues I hear them offering is that their partner doesn’t listen to understand.

We’ve probably all done it. You are discussing something with your partner but you’re listening and possibly nodding, however … you’re “re-loading” – thinking about your response.

Often, you may even feel you have a twitchy “trigger finger”, itching to fire your response.  You feel your response is on the tip of your tongue.  Sometimes, the itchy trigger finger gets the better of you and you interrupt and shoot out your response. This can occur in any conversation if you’ve made the style of “shoot … re-load … shoot” your style of communication.  Mates; co-workers; and, family are all targets.

While we are re-loading, we are only half-listening  and aren’t respectfully mindful of our partner’s communication. Whilst you might think you have a strong response loaded to shoot off, you very likely have failed to hear and understand your partner’s message and feelings.

Instead, of the “shoot … re-load … shoot” style of communication, slow down and really, really listen. Think about your reply when your partner has finished their message. If you do this, you will find you have better discussions, and you will understand your partner, or anyone else you’re planning on shooting a message at, far better.

If you think you might benefit from couples’ counselling, for an appointment with Chapman Marques Psychology & Relationship Counselling, phone Belconnen Specialist Centre on 6251 1880 or complete the Contact information form..