World leaders in relationship research, Drs John and Julie Gottman, following decades of studies, have discovered a little magic. They have uncovered quite a few facts about successful relationships.

However, they assert that one is paramount. And, this is the magic relationship ratio of 5:1.

According to this amazing finding, successful and long lasting relationships must have a ratio of five positive interactions for every single negative interaction. The Gottmans discovered this is what makes the difference between what they term the “masters” and the “disasters” of relationships.

So, whilst “disasters” drop below 5:1, masters work at keeping their positive to negative ratio of interactions at 5:1 or above. Research found sometimes the “masters” achieved a ration as high as 20:1!

Most positive interactions in relationships are small, everyday gestures of kindness, affection, and appreciation. Dr John Gottman says successful relationships are built on “small things often”. If you think (or know) you are falling short of the magic 5:1 ratio in your relationship, you might try creating a few positive, daily rituals of connection in your relationship.

Here’s Dr John Gottman explaining the magic 5:1 ratio

According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the magic ratio is 5 to 1. What does this mean? This means that for every one negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be five positive feelings or interactions. Stable and happy couples share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones.

© Gregg Chapman, 2021.

If you think you might benefit from couples’ counselling, for an appointment phone Belconnen Specialist Centre on 6251 1880.